Case Study: Breaking Free from the Zone of False Safety
Disclaimer: All identifying information has been changed. Any resemblance to a real person is purely coincidental. This patient offered their story of free will in the hopes it would encourage and support others.
Madeleine, a 38-year-old marketing executive, reached out to me a few years ago due to chronic dissatisfaction and a deep sense of feeling “stuck”. Though she had a successful career, a comfortable lifestyle, and a strong social network, she felt unfulfilled, anxious, and disconnected from herself. Despite recognizing these feelings, she struggled to make meaningful changes, often telling herself, “It’s not that bad,” or “I should be grateful.”
The Zone of False Safety & The Estrangement Escape
Madeleine had unknowingly landed in the Zone of False Safety through the Estrangement Escape—a strategy of distancing herself from both external and internal discomfort. She wasn’t just avoiding conflict; she was avoiding herself.
• She estranged herself from external triggers, such as her aggressive boss, by minimizing interactions and staying silent, believing that enduring mistreatment was safer than confronting it.
• She estranged herself from internal triggers, particularly compulsive self-beliefs like “You’ll never be good enough” and “You don’t deserve this,” by masking—presenting as competent and unaffected while suppressing the emotional toll.
• Over time, she became so skilled at escaping her emotions that she dissociated from her body’s signals, mistaking emotional numbness for resilience.
• What felt like control was actually avoidance, keeping her locked in an invisible cage of exhaustion and disconnection.
Therapeutic Process
1. Unmasking the Dissociation
• Through somatic inquiry, Madeleine began tuning into the ways her body had been signaling distress—chronic fatigue, tension headaches, and gut issues.
• We explored how masking her true mental health status kept her from recognizing that the real problem wasn’t external stress, but the suppression of her emotional truth.
2. Facing What She Was Avoiding
• Using Internal Family Systems (IFS), Madeleine identified and worked with the parts of her that had been protecting her through estrangement, allowing her to engage with her inner critic from a place of curiosity instead of fear.
• Cognitive Restructuring helped her challenge deep-seated beliefs of unworthiness and replace them with more adaptive narratives.
3. Reintegrating Her Mind & Body
• Nervous system regulation techniques, such as breathwork, EFT, and vagus nerve stimulation, helped her reconnect with her body and recognize that avoidance was reinforcing, not alleviating, her distress.
• She practiced gradual emotional exposure, intentionally sitting with discomfort instead of immediately masking or numbing it.
4. Building a New Relationship with Safety
• Madeleine learned that true safety doesn’t come from avoiding discomfort, but from building the capacity to navigate it.
• By making small, intentional shifts—setting boundaries at work, speaking up in meetings, and allowing herself to feel emotions fully—she developed resilience instead of reinforcing avoidance.
Outcome
Over time, Madeleine transitioned from estrangement to engagement. She:
• Stopped suppressing her emotions and began listening to them as valuable signals.
• Recognized that her feelings of detachment weren’t “just stress” but a sign that she had been avoiding core wounds.
• Left an unfulfilling role and pursued a career that aligned with her values.
• Rewired her nervous system to interpret discomfort as a catalyst for growth rather than a threat to be avoided.
Conclusion
Madeleine’s case highlights how the Zone of False Safety—reinforced by the Estrangement Escape—can create the illusion of control while actually deepening disconnection. By addressing the cognitive, emotional, and physiological barriers keeping her stuck, she was able to reclaim her agency, face what she had been avoiding, and move toward a life of true expansion.
